collegeromance

Love side swipes us, for sure. We’re minding our own business and then BAM.

Down and out for the count, completely infatuated.

But what happens once that feeling wears off, and you’ve been with the person for a year and a half? Do you break up, or commit for the long haul?

It’s such a tough call. On the one hand college is passing you by, with all the people and opportunities you might never see again. On the other, everything you’ve ever wanted might be right in front of you, and you’re just taking him or her for granted.

Here’s a way to bring some objectivity to the issue:

Write down five or six essential qualities in your ideal partner. They can be anything like trustworthiness, sex appeal, intelligence, sense of humor, shared interests, non-controlling; whatever you want.

***Though for the moment, refrain from including “Chemistry” as a topic. More on that later.

Next, rank your chosen qualities in order of importance. Be honest. If sex appeal is your top priority then so be it.

In a column next to your ranked priorities, rate your boyfriend/girlfriend. Use the terms Poor, Average, and Excellent.

How to read the results:

Hopefully you were able to rank your partner as Excellent in your top two or three desired qualities. If not, it might be time to start looking again.

If there were any qualities where you marked your partner as “Poor” that’s probably bad news. If you think something is “Poor” now it’s most likely going to become Hellishly Bad later.

If your partner ranks as Excellent in most and Average in some, I feel for ya. This raises the conundrum of whether or not you can find a better match, or if this is the expected percentage of imperfection. Ask a few trusted, impartial friends what they think of the matter.

On the subject of chemistry: if you once had it but lost it, I believe it can be rekindled. If that’s the only thing missing in your relationship, I say you go all balls out to find it again.

Last question: what will you regret more, losing this person, or losing the potential for other people? (I haven’t the faintest, but maybe you can answer that.)

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